Existence

What have I done with my life?

Not in a, for lack of the right word, complainful way, but in a omnipresent point of view. After the APUSH review today, I hung out with some of my friends and we started talking about 2012, which somehow lead to materialism and the prompt we read in English about todays society and materialism. Anyway, I’m sure many people know about it and stuff, but I want to address it. Society these days (not that I know of old days), just care about what they have or own. Kids get new Ipods, new cars, new T.V.’s, new everything. Think about this, an Ipod cost around 250$; while around in the early 1900s throughout the Cold War, one was lucky to get a dime to get a jawbreaker. Kids went outside to play because they lacked playstations or 360s. They didn’t get a new bike every time it broke; they had to repair it themselves. If you ask me, that sounds a lot better than what we have. We define ourselves by what we have, not what we do.

In society, usually you expect someone to go through high school, go to college, get a career, own a house, and have a family. That sounds great, but somewhere in between, you don’t get the chance to really get to self-actualize. I’m talking about experiences. My dad had a life; he escaped the Vietnam draft and ran off to China, through Cambodia and into Laos. He worked for random people and survived on his own. Afterward, he got on a boat, and came to a foreign land named America, where he did not know the language, the customs, and was broke. All by the time he was 25. What am I going to tell my kids? “I went to school in the suburbs. I went to college. Dated your mom, had you guys and now I am accountant.” NOT. I don’t want that to be my life. I want to do something exciting. Something like Christopher McCandless from Into The Wild. I want to get away from all this boring place. I want to see what I can do. I am so sick and tired of daily routines of the same damn thing: waking up, going to school for a good 7 hours, returning home to do homework for another 3 hours, all while trying to do extra things like clubs and crap. I guess I am complaining, but this is my tumblr and this is part of what it’s for. That’s why I said I want to join the circus in my previous post. To go around the country and explore new places, new things, is what I desire. Hopefully someday I will.

Leave me with a reply or comment on what you think.

I think I’m finally getting better.

I’m still coughing my lungs out and grabbing tissues every five minutes to blow all the snot out of my nose, but! its a lot better than what I felt like a week ago. I’ve missed so many odd day classes so I think all my odd day teachers hate me. Except for Mr. Maxwell, because I think I secretly amuse him somehow. Actually being sick was a split from reality more than a 4 day break would be. I barely talked to anyone, I barely spoke at all, I slept most of the time, I watched Pride and Prejudice, Kick-Ass, and Remember the Titans, and I just lay around all day. 

Grammar note: Lie - to recline. The past tense of “lie” is lay. Now you know! Unless you already knew.

School is slowing coming to a complete stop. Well not complete. SATs are this saturday and I have not even touched an SAT review book. AP exams are the week after. I plan to fail the physics one. If I had only taken 3 AP classes like my consoler told me, my GPA would be a lot better. 

The thing about me being home alone sometimes is I get really paranoid. I think I got it from my mom. I hear noises in my empty house all the time and I swear somethings behind me when I’m not paying attention. I’m not afraid of burglars, I’m afraid of evil scary movie stuff. Like the ring. omfg. On that note, I just heard thunder, which is kinda soothing because it takes away the sound of other noises in my house.

Well I’m still sick ever since saturday night.

I feel so horrible. I feel weak. I feel tired, exhausted. I feel like all the medicine I’m taking is actually making me worse. I blew my nose in a tissue to find out that along with the forest green mucus there was blood. I have probably used up 5 tissue boxes. I have a continuous headache. My nose hurts. My eyes water. Sickness + allergies = death. I don’t feel like eating. I can’t eat more than half a sandwich. I can’t smell. I can’t breath out of my nostrils. I can barely taste. I don’t feel like talking. I can barely stay on the computer for more than an hour then my head starts to implode. Nothing is soothing. I lay in bed all day. I complain all day. Please, I need to get better. I can’t stand this state of being. I cry myself to sleep (but that has nothing to do with the sickness). I joke. I would dare say I’d rather go to school than be sick in bed. I am slowly dying.

I’m sick.

On Saturday night I could tell I was gunna be sick because I was congested and felt like there was phlegm in my throat (good for you to know). And the next day I woke up, I was sick. Even though I told myself I should stay in for Sunday I went out. I bought Halls honey-lemon cough drops and hoped for the best. I went to my friend Nick’s house with Sean and tried to skateboard. Skateboarding is hard. After I came home, I passed out pretty early like around 6:45. And the weird thing about sleeping is I think I got a lot more sick while sleeping; like as if my immune system stopped working as well as my brain. So I didn’t go to school today because I’m actually sick. How many absences is that now? 25? lol. I’m so sick of school. 

So even though my mom left for four days, I didn’t have any parties. I just had friends come over and chill, which was fine. Parties make a mess anyway. Maybe next time my mom leaves this state and I plan better I’ll have one. We ate all my food. More than half a box of my ramen, 72 bagel bites, honey-covered everything, spam, rice, danimals go-gurt, and a bunch I can’t remember. 

Hopefully I get better because I hate being sick. The feeling of being sick is like feeling weak and not being able to do anything about it. I can just go on the computer and sleep all day. Joyful. 

So my mom is leaving me for four days for Texas starting thursday morning.

It’s gunna be a good weekend.

I think I’ll have a get-together, but that sounds like I have to spend a lot of money. I probably will, we’ll see ;)

School, now-a-days, is just a big buzzkill. I don’t know what about doing homework late into the night, stressing over tests/projects, and waking up at 6:30 in the morning, that just doesn’t make school fun (sarcasm). I just can’t wait for this summer; its gunna be a great one. I also really want to go camping this summer.

I recently read a book called Into The Wild (which means I read the summary and watched the movie) and it’s actually pretty inspirational. Basically about a guy that is fed up with the materialism of the urban world and decides to travel through the u.s. and ultimately end in up Alaska where he will really go “into the wild” and live off the land. Think about leaving your town and just wondering off to a distant place where you haven’t ever been and then just living in a completely new world. And then I heard a radio commercial about joining the circus for the summer and just traveling throughout all of the u.s., helping out with the shows and what not. I for one, want some adventure in my life, at least some to tell my kids. I don’t want to be stuck in the suburbs and not ever do anything. What a boring life that would be. The only thing that scares me is doing it alone. I think that happiness is only true when shared. The thought just interests me.

This is my first real post on tumblr, so don’t judge me on it.

So my chorus spring trip this year was going to Atlanta, Georgia. Out of all the places in the U.S. to go, why did we choose one so boring.. All we did was go on tours, a baseball game, an enormous rock (picture below), and six flags.

In other words, it was a lot of cardio and not that much fun.

I had to climb this baby.

Over all, it took me about 45 minutes with some encouragement from my friend Earle to get up there.

After I had gotten home all I did was crash onto my bed. I didn’t really get any REM or deep sleep during the trip so I had some weird ass dreams. After waking up after a 5 hour sleep, I ate and went back to sleep and woke up again at 9. 

Now I have a bunch of homework to do, a big test in english to do, a DBQ in history, and who knows what else.

I’ll try to post everyday but for now: Goodnight.